I care deeply for nature. Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer. First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. Whoa, this guy’s straight? Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right.
Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. Aw, you’re all Mr. Grumpy Face today. Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. I’m nobody’s taxi service; I’m not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship. *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do!

• There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.
• Really? Did nothing cancel?

No! I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. Michael! It’s a hug, Michael. I’m hugging you. Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough.

There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence. Marry me. What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?” Not tricks, Michael, illusions. Whoa, this guy’s straight?

1. That’s what it said on ‘Ask Jeeves.’
2. There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor.

What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?” Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right. No… but I’d like to be asked!

I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now leave before I am forced to taunt you a second time! Shut up! Will you shut up?! Well, what do you want?

Well, we did do the nose. What a strange person. I have to push the pram a lot. Why? Well, how’d you become king, then? Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system!

She looks like one. She looks like one. How do you know she is a witch? I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now leave before I am forced to taunt you a second time! I have to push the pram a lot. Burn her!

Be quiet! And the hat. She’s a witch! On second thoughts, let’s not go there. It is a silly place. She looks like one. The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice! I dunno. Must be a king.

Well, we did do the nose. Well, we did do the nose. The swallow may fly south with the sun, and the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land. Bring her forward! We shall say ‘Ni’ again to you, if you do not appease us. Well, how’d you become king, then?